Tips for When You are Overwhelmed

So, what do you do when the dishes are piling up in the sink, the laundry is calling, the kids are fussy, and you need to go to have paid the bills, done the paperwork, and made those calls yesterday?

Prioritize.  But, how?  

Here are some tips to help you gain some traction on those days when you feel overwhelmed:

1) Pray.  Give it all to God, and ask Him to direct your efforts.
2) Tend to the living needs and safety issues.  A kid's boo-boo comes before laundy, of course.  Working out an argument with your spouse comes before dishes, though, too.  Make sure the physical and mental/emotional needs of both those in your household, and your own are resolved.  Also, put safety needs first.  Examples might be: to remove any clutter from stairwells (avoiding potential falls or blocked walkways in case of emergencies or fire.), never walking away from a stove-top on which you are cooking something, and never leaving a small child free and unattended to take a phone call.
3) Multi-task strategically.  Put a load of laundry in the washing machine before going to do the dishes, as the laundry can be ready to move along to the dryer when you are done with the dishes...thus, two tasks nearly complete for the time it took to do one.
4) Do some quick "instant pick-me-ups": Clear the kitchen table, clear the end tables and coffee table, counter tops, and chairs, corral the toys, and close the doors and drawers.  It is amazing what you can do when you just take 15 minutes to "straighten-up."

For more help with the home, visit www.flylady.net.   And, if you need more help than just a quick list, consider contacting us for life or marriage coaching...we can help you strategize and gain results that will help you to eliminate stress, gain traction, and get peace: www.marriageguyandgal.com is our website, and my e-mail is marriagegalmichelle@gmail.com.

Blessings on your week!

--Michelle

Day 9 and Day 10 of 30 Days of Posts

Well, I am blogging each day of June for 30 Days for God, Home, Health, and Work.  But yesterday, I completely forgot my need to blog until I was about to hop in bed at midnight....at least it was a Sabbath well done :-).  I took my Sabbath yesterday because today was filled with responsibilities that I knew would not feel like a day of rest.  Anyway, today's post with be a 2-for-1 so that I can catch up and keep my promise of 30 days of posts this month.  So, please consider this Day 9 and Day 10 :-).

Day 9 = Part 1) Respecting Your Own Needs   

When someone wrongs you, how do you choose to handle it?

I used to think that forgiveness meant being a door mat...I am so years over that now!

What I now know is that offenses are never okay, and forgiveness does not say that they are, but with Christ, we can speak the truth in love, state how we feel from our perspective, ask for what we would like from the other person, and forgive the offense. 

How would this work in a marriage, for instance?  Here is an example:

Perhaps your husband comes home late from the office and didn't call.  You are worried sick about him.  What would you do?

A) Yell and scream at him as soon as he comes in the door. 
B) Give him the silent treatment and cold shoulder.
C) Choose to be honest and act respectfully for the benefit of both your husband and yourself.

Of course, the feelings you might have might lead you to want to do A or B, but if you chose to do C, you chose the appropriate answer, so what might that look like?


1) Use an "I" statement to tell your husband how you feel, as in:  "Honey, I was so worried about you and whether you were okay that now that you are home, I am now feeling so angry at you for not calling to tell me you would be so late. 

2) Ask for what you want/need, as in: "Would you please call me the next time that you aren't going to be home at the regular time?"

3) Forgive, as in: Don't bring it up again and again.  There should be no:  "Well, if you had called...." guilting or anything to hold it over his head.

It is okay to feel angry, but what is not okay is to sin in your anger.  It is okay to stand up and speak up for yourself, but it is not okay to harm the other person in doing so.  Always, we must remember that we need to love others as we love ourself, and that often means to both remember to treat our own self well by speaking up for what we need or would like and to remember that the other person has feelings, too. 

Day 10 =  Part 2: The Purposes of Forgiveness

As I said, a long time ago, I used to think that forgiving meant that you let someone walk all over you and just kept forgiving.  This isn't forgiveness, it's just stupid.  I now see forgiveness as releasing the other person and the wrong from owing or owning you. Sure, the first part is releasing another from owing you restitution (not that it isn't right for the person to apologize or repay you for what they have stolen, but that you release the debt's necessity).  This naturally lead in to releasing the person from owning you, as in possessing power over your emotions.  If you do not forgive, you not only grow in bitterness, but you are giving over your power to another.  By forgiving them, they no longer have a hold over you.  You release them from their ability to impact you further.

So, I think that often God wants us to forgive others not just for the other person's sake but for our own freedom and ability to move on from the hurt and pain that was caused by the other.

So, the lessons from Part 1 and Part 2 as I see them today?  1) Be honest and real.  2) Do not let others hold power over you by letting bitterness take root.

Filling Your Life with the Right Rocks

Recently, I heard a really awesome parable by a Christian teacher, just wish I could remember his name!  Anyway, the story went something like this: 

(Hint: This may not be the analogy you think it is, lol!  It wasn't what I expected, either.)

A pastor wanted to teach his congregation about how to fill the 24 hours that each person gets per day.  He pulled out a very large, clear, glass jar, and into it he placed five large rocks.  He asked his audience if the jar was full.  The audience said, "Yes."  It looked full to them.        

The pastor then picked up a container which held some gravel, and he poured the gravel into the jar. The gravel fell in and filled in around the five large stones. He again asked his audience if the jar was full.  The audience, now catching on, said, "No."

"Correct," said the pastor.  He then pulled out a container of sand, and he poured that in the jar.  The sand, like the gravel, fell in and filled in all around the contents already in the jar.

Again, the pastor asked the audience his question, "Is the jar full?"  The audience kept watching.

Finally, the pastor took out a large container of water and poured it into the jar.  The water all fit.  Now, the jar was truly and finally full.

The moral of the story?   

Nope!  "The moral is not that we can always find more ways to fit more things into our 24 hours," said the pastor.  "The moral is that if we don't put our most important priorities in to our days (or our large rocks into our jars) that they will never be able to fit in to the busyness of everyday life."

What are your top, big rocks?  Fit them in first in your day to make sure that they get in there, lol!

Guiding You Child's Heart

Today, I got to see the beauty in the Pennsylvania summer that is soon approaching, and I got to enjoy the mild, sunny weather by taking my kids out to a playground at our local park.  It was filled with kids, and all looked to be having a great time.

However, I noticed the parents.  Some were busy talking to each other, some merely sat and waited, and some talked their children through various rules.

The children were just as unique in what they chose to do.  Some played on their own.  Some played with friends, and some teamed up with new acquaintances made right then and there on the playground.

We are each different in what we choose to do, how we choose to do it, with whom we choose to do whatever we choose, and how we both take-in and look at the world around us.

As parents, we have the special responsibility to be able to guide our children's worldview, shape their hearts and minds, and direct them in what we believe to be the most beneficial paths for them to take.

What are the things that you notice about your child?  Is he quiet and reserved?  Does she dance a lot?  Is she a natural leader, or he a natural born thinker?  Is your child sensitive to the needs of others, driven to succeed at every task, humble and unassuming?

No matter what your child's make-up, God has built into your child(ren) amazing gifts and abilities that no one else on earth can quite deliver in the same way.  Only your child can make the unique contributions that God has designed (him/her) to provide to this world.

One of the ways that we can support this is to notice the traits that He has placed in each of our children and to cultivate that which He has planted.  Never worry yourself with comparing your child to others, as no other was ever created to be that specific person, and God is much too wise to make anything that is not necessary.  Our children are exquisitely fashioned by the Creator to be exactly as He desires them to be.  Let's pray and guide their hearts according to the way He fashioned them!

Yesterday and Today

Yesterday was a bad day, and Today has been a good one.  In my mind (which I'll freely admit is both creative and quite unique; yeah, we'll just go with that description :-), I classify days into four types: Good Days, Bad Days, Really Good Days, and Really Bad days.   So that you can follow my path of thought, I'll start with describing the Really Bad days. 

Really Bad days are the ones where someone I love dies, is struggling in a nursing home, is fighting for life in some way, or has been severely hurt in some way. Conversely, Really Good Days are the ones where I just so clearly see and feel God shining down: the promotion comes through, the bonus comes through, a loved one gets a much needed answer to prayer, mountains are undeniably moved in my own or my loved ones lives.

Then, there are the regular Good Days and Bad Days.  I consider Good Days to be most every day that life is going along status quo, there is a roof over our heads, there is food on the table, God is on the throne, and my loved ones and myself are not facing any severe trials (such as those in the Really Bad Days category).  Consequently, Bad Days are really, in general, Good Days which merely have some uncomfortable components to them. 

Yesterday was one of those kinds of days for me. 

I had to be somewhere for a 7am appointment that did not go as planned.  The puppy's "routine" visit to the vet ended up costing way more than we had budgeted (Grateful for Dave Ramsey's Emergency Fund step), and I ended up not feeling very well by late afternoon, which made me pretty miserable throughout the evening.

Then, there was today, a day that I had been concerned about how it would work out.  I had a one-hour class to teach at 12pm on the complete opposite side of town from where I needed to be by 2pm and to which I still needed to get directions.  In between, I needed to pick up my kids to take them to the 2pm activity, stop at a grocery store to get cookies for it, and finish putting the final touches on my children's homeschool portfolios which were going to be evaluated at the 2pm activity.  I knew it looked like it promised to be rough, again.

However, today is a good day (bordering on Really Good ;-)!  My 12pm class ended early by more than 10 minutes, my smart-phone really was smart and found the gps directions right away to something that I merely had a name and a city for rather than a street address, the kids were ready to go when I got home, the portfolios were complete, the sun was shining, the grocery store trip quick and relatively easy, and everything that needed to be accomplished at the 2pm meeting could not have gone better! (Portfolio reviews went great, and they even had a great lunch spread where I could still stay on my eating plan).  Hooray!! 

Now, if I had based today on the concerns I had for it or on how yesterday went, I would have likely not wanted to get out of bed this morning, and if I had known what yesterday was going to be like, I would likely not have wanted to get out of bed then either! However, each day is a brand new day; a brand new start to see what adventure awaits.  God is still on the throne, no matter how we classify our days, and Good or Bad, He holds us.

So, if today (or any day) isn't going well for you, wait for tomorrow.  God always has something good for you right around the corner!

--Matthew 6:34: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own." (NIV)