What is Healthy?
You each respect the other’s opinions, thoughts, needs,
and desires.
You each can work to find solutions which benefit you both. You
each take care of both yourself and your partner.
You are free to be you, and your partner is free to be
himself/herself- including freely sharing what makes you each unique
individuals.
Differences are respected, and issues are resolved
through respectful give and take of each other’s needs.
You and your partner are free to make decisions as to how
you will live, where you will go, and what you will do without controlling
pressure from the other.
You and your partner can trust each other, be completely
truthful with each other, and feel safe in both the ways you share and the way
your sharing is received.
Your thoughts and words are listened to and validated.
You can take responsibility for your own feelings and actions without fear of
pain, ridicule, or abuse.
You respect each other’s personal boundaries. You resolve conflicts with words and not
verbal, physical, or psychological abuse.
You are proud of who you are in your relationship, and do
not compromise your values, viewpoints, or sense of right and wrong for the
other.
What is Unhealthy? You are physically, socially, emotionally,
or mentally abused or abusive.
You are fearful to express your own viewpoints or feel
the need to sneak around and tell lies for fear of reprisal, or this applies to
your partner.
You need to defend your beliefs, needs, and viewpoints
without being listened to and/or without being respected as you do so, or your
partner experiences this.
You are forced or strongly encouraged into taking actions
or engaging in actions which you would prefer not to, or you do this to your
partner.
You feel trapped, voice-less, unimportant, or
insignificant, or your partner does. Your partner criticizes or tears you down,
or you do that to your partner.
You are isolated from community, family, friends, or
activities you used to enjoy, or your partner is. Your partner blames you for
all problems in the relationship, or you blame your partner for them.
